You really should ask these wedding planning questions

This spring & summer I managed to see a few weddings, mostly destination weddings, from an outsider perspective, but one who knows better.  Basically, while I was attending tastings, floral consults, and venue site tours, I also saw wedding chaos.  Some chaos that should have never happened and some that there was no controlling but wasn't being handled.  I felt sick watching some of these things happening.  So here are some questions you can ask your wedding coordinator, planner, day-of director, site manager, florist...WHO EVER it is that says they will take care of "coordinating" for you.  This is especially great to ask venue or site coordinators who are included in your package.

1. Will you help me set up room blocks at another resort?
2. Will you help me secure and schedule transportation to these other resorts for my guests staying off property?  How about for wedding events not on your property?
3. Will you help me plan events off your property?  Like a shopping and luncheon and a golf tourney day?  Not just phone numbers...plan it.
4. Can you recommend anyone outside your recommended vendor list?  If no, why?
5. Will you tell me if I'm about to make a big mistake hiring a particular vendor?
   
6. Will you review all my contracts for me?
   
7. Are the subcontracted companies on your property answering to your company, or is there a financial commitment there?  Or if I have an issue with them are you representing me and my best interest?
8. Will your A/V company work with my band or DJ to ensure that their lighting doesn't interfere with each others?

   

   Aren't these not-too-nautical welcome bags cute?

9. Will you research, purchase, assemble, customize and deliver the welcome bags and guest itineraries?
10. Will you create wedding party wedding weekend itineraries?  How about the guest guides?
11. Will you track my RSVP changes and make necessary changes to the escort and place cards?
12. Do you offer etiquette and stationery advice?
13. Will you schedule and plan our planning visit with all of our vendors so that we can get everything done in 2 days and still go to the beach for at least 2 hours?
14. Will you give me room design options to see for my reception?
15. Will you offer me anything other than standard options for linens, centerpieces, lighting, and china? Do you add any cost to these items, or is it the same cost I would pay if I did it myself?
    
16. Will you communicate with all the vendors I have under contract to compile a timeline so that they all know whats going on when?
17. Will you let the florist, photographer, videographer, and hair and makeup people know where I am and my fiance are?
18. Will you pin all the boutonnières on the grooms party and dads?
    
19. Will you make sure both our parents are in the room and have a view of the cake cutting, 1st dance, and bouquet toss?
20. Will you be on site for the entire set up for all the vendors, available to me and my wedding party for anything that comes up, and there until the reception is over?

I was going to stop here, but I might as well head on just a bit.  But then I'll stop before 100 completely reasonable questions....

I must say, these are really cool along the perimeter of a tent.

1. Will you find 17 of these chandeliers for me?
2. Will you convince my mother that its actually okay not to have a receiving line?
3. Will you schedule the hair and makeup for me and 7 others in the getting ready room so that my fiancées mother is not there during lunch, and so that my sister can go feed her baby after her blow out but before her makeup, and so that I am done just in time for pictures, with 15 minutes to get dressed, and nobody has to be there before 10am?
4. Will you help bustle my dress and fix it if and when it breaks?
5. Do you have a bridal room kit and an ER kit? Whats in it?
6. Will you make sure the room is completely set on time (ask the photographer what time) and the band isn't loading in when the photographer comes in to take shots of the room because I really want to be on my favorite wedding blog?  Also, will you make sure I get to see if before everyone else?
7. Will you hand out our final payments and tips to vendors?

Please know that I am not trying to scare anyone.  I am saying however, that there is more to a wedding weekend than meets the "our wedding coordination package includes" when you care as much about your wedding; and that you have a priorities:
1. You get to enjoy your wedding weekend
2. Your guests having a great experience
3. Your wedding is being executed as beautifully as it is aesthetically beautiful.

A smart woman once said

Isis, (who is a dear friend and absolutely fantastic wedding planner) at Posh Events in New Jersey put this so well, I had to share. For those who may be on the fence about hiring or at least consulting with a professional about their wedding...read this.

"Your job is so cool" Warning: Long Post.

I giggle a little when people say this to me. I do love what I do; I love planning weddings. You couldn't possibly convince me that there's a better job out there. However, when people say this to me its either at the wedding, when they see me smiling off to the side(dancing just a little cause the band rocks!) or crying tears of joy. Or during wedding venue tours, when we're going to all these fabulous locations looking at beaches, tasting food, and eating cake. That part of being a wedding planner is so beyond great- who wouldn't want to do that?
But I giggle because never do wedding guests or clients see me in my office, with 2 computers, a fax machine, 3 phones, bookshelves full of client binders, and filing cabinets full of vendor and resource information. On my typical day I am tied to the office for 9 hours. I get 15-20 emails per hour. Most of my 8-10 phone calls take at least 15 minutes. I wish it was just my brides calling me; because I love talking to them, but I have to actually plan their weddings, and that means talking to all their vendors too. Most weddings have about 20 contracts of some sort. I have to take care of all that. Cool right?
If I have to give up some of that office time for meetings, I'm in the office on the weekend, in the evenings, and sometimes before dawn. And that's after the usual weekend meetings with clients. Because, I meet with clients when they aren't working their jobs! Then there's the calendar on the wall. Right now there are 17 weddings on that calendar (between now and next April 2008). I am a multi-tasking master. So, what it comes down to is that my job might be fairly similar to any other project-manager-office-job most of the time. Cool right?
Then there's wedding week. Adrenaline takes over big time. No matter what, there will be fires to put out, chaos to control, and a mess to clean up. No matter what, I always end up working at least 20 hours straight 3 days in a row, I might get to eat one meal (which is cold, while standing up, in a corner, in the dark), and there's no such thing as a bathroom break. Cool right?
Truly, my friends think I am insane for doing what I do. My husband thinks I work too much. My kids, they seem to get it (kids are cool like that). My dad- he didn't think I was running a real business until he read an article about me in a magazine; and this was just a few months ago (I've been in business for years!).

My job is cool- for me. Again, I love it, and there are some seriously fun parts. But it is not for everyone, thats for sure. I'll post about the fun parts later, but right now I have 17 weddings to plan. Hee Hee.

If this doesn't sum it up, what does?

11. Really lastly… just realized how much I wish I’d found you before I signed the XXX (venue) and XXX (florist) contracts. I got hosed, huh??

That is right out of an email I received from a new client. It made me so upset to know she felt this way. First of all, she didn't get hosed. She just wasn't informed. She didn't know that she had options, or what she should be asking for. If you haven't planned a wedding before, how would you know what to expect?
In this case, she hired me, I reviewed the contracts she had in place, and sent her a 1st draft of her custom budget. I'm certain she was shocked. The 2 contracts ate up so much of her budget, that the wedding she had envisioned wasn't going to be possible on the remainder of the budget, there was nearly nothing left. Compromises and sacrifices will have to be made.
Fortunately, she did hire me, and I am going to iron this out. She's still going to have her dream wedding- it's just going to take some work. And although the technical part of my job is to get her wedding planned, and for it to run smoothly; I take great care to be a support to my clients (a.k.a. friend) and to make her engagement and wedding planning process fun. I won't let her feel like she "got hosed".

Photo Credit: Julie Goodacre

I forgot my camera

I know! I can't believe it either. My camera is always in my bag. Last night, I attended a wonderful event that theknot.com hosted and I didn't get a single photo. I did walk away with a new friend; a fellow wedding planner who rocks (Hi Shannon!), a great coffee mug (which I am using this very moment), and some inspiration (very cool draping at this event).

Alright, I need to go finish up the timeline for Krista's wedding next week, and confirm with the caterer, and give a heads up to the venue coordinator, and order the flowers, and send out a contract, and schedule 3 appointments, and ...it's going to be a busy day!

Ciao for now!

CRAZY wedding story

Here is one of the craziest wedding stories I have ever heard- and somehow, I was slightly, yet indirectly involved. On the day of a recent wedding on which I was providing partial services (meaning I didn't recommend and book all the vendors or locations), I rcvd a call from the limo driver, asking if it was okay if he was a half hour late. I quickly said "no, that would not be okay, I confirmed all the times and locations twice in the last week, and nothing can be changed at this point. A delay would be breaking the contract as it affects the timing of the entire wedding." His response, "I have to pick up another wedding party in Lehigh (2 cities away), bring them to their hotel, nearly in Sanibel (way far south -I'd say a city and a half), and then I'll come get yours (again, a city and a half). I'm going to go get them now (it's 1pm). My clients were to be picked up at 2pm. What happened after that is nothing you want to hear about, and nothing any bride needs to experience. One of those conversations that wedding planners have all the time for our clients; and quite frankly, they aren't pretty. By the time I was done, there was another limo on the way to get my wedding party. No way was my bride going to wait.
Brings me to last night. I attended a mock wedding at a great resort on Ft Myers Beach. Tell ya all about it on another post. Anyhoo- I'm seated next to the florist, who says, "Did you hear about my wedding a few weeks ago?" So he begins to tell me that the limo driver pulls up to the house, doesn't get out of the car, doesn't open doors, instead honks the horn. "WHAT!?!" is my reaction. That right there was enough to make my blood boil. The limo is filthy and reeks of smoke. The brother of the bride is following the limo and notices that its all over the road. The driver is drunk! So the brother does everything he can to get the guy to pull over, and eventually he does. Of course, they are at the busiest intersection in Ft Myers. The limo driver gets out of the car and throws all the luggage into the street! Then he tries to strangle the brother. So the bride takes off down the block, in her wedding dress, to ABC liquor to call the police. She comes back to find that now the driver has a knife to her brother. The police are pulling up, and so the driver takes off in the limo. Yep, police chase. Eventually they got him, not sure how. But they had to cuff him to a light pole in the median.
So I ask what limo co. it was. Don't you know it was the limo driver (also the company owner) who called me and was supposed to be picking up my clients that very same day?
Never ever have I been so happy that a vendor called and made me whip out the "don't you even think about messing with me" It's so rare that I have to do it as strongly as I did in this instance, but boy- this proves that there are times that it is absolutely necessary.