Upgrading the bar at your wedding or welcome reception

Are you trying to think of something new to do at your wedding?  This can be especially tricky if you and your friends have been to 12 wedding in the last 8 months and there are 2 more before yours. Well the good thing is that you don't truly need to reinvent the wheel.  Just "feature" something.  For instance, if you're having a summer, beach or tropical wedding, Rum is just the ticket for a feature.
Ask your caterer or venue coordinator if they can offer different types of rums at a bar separate from the main bar.  Have the bottles on display with a sample glass of each rum concoction available for your guests to choose from.  A Rum bar menu would be good to have as well.
I found a good list of rums in Martha Stewart Living.  It would be great to have create a rum menu with a cocktail for each of these:

White Rum (Banks Five Island)

Spiced Rum (Sailor Jerry)

Rhum Agricole (Rhum JM Vieux V.S.O.P.)

Dark Rum (Goslings Black Seal Bermuda 80 proof)

Aged Rum (Zacapa Rum 23)

Now, I'd like to introduce you a rum cocktail.  I was very lucky to have my favorite displaced southern belle wedding planner-bff Nicole of RSVP Shindig about threaten my life if I didn't eat at Husk when we visited Charleston this summer. I owe her big time.  I can not begin to explain the amazingness we enjoyed at that dinner.  Including a few of their cocktails and punches of course. Here is one of their specialities:

If you do go to Husk, try the fried chicken skins and the Fried Green Tomatoes.  I know, you can't even imagine. Nor could I. But for the 1st time in my life, I contemplated licking a plate; or in this case, slice of tree.

Have to cut your budget? Call a wedding planner now!

A couple days ago the NY Times published an article about the effects of the current economy and wedding planning. While some are fortunate enough to not have to cut back, many couples started their planning with a budget in mind that now seems impossible. For those who fall into the latter, this is the best time for you to call in a wedding planner. Not a wedding designer or wedding coordinator- but a planner or consultant. I have a feeling you're thinking (or perhaps screaming at your laptop),

"Is she nuts? Why would I spend money on a planner when I can't afford the band I want?"

I'll tell you why. There is no better person to show you how it may be possible to cut your costs significantly without losing sight of what you wanted for your wedding prior to having to cut back. A wedding planner or consultant has experience and professional relationships and knows how to make the most of the money you have available. Would I love for you to still be able to have the amazing 12 piece band? Yes. If the dollar wasn't an issue, go for it. But if it is an issue, let's find a way to get something just as great for less. And yes, it absolutely is possible! Dreaming of a platinum wedding on a shoe string budget? Or maybe that shoe string even just broke. Geez, I hate when that happens. So with all that said, call a wedding planner or consultant in the area where you are getting married. If nothing else, ask if its possible to hire for consulting only (usually at an hourly rate).
Just a quick note- it is crucial that you go to a well experienced professional if you're hiring specifically for this reason.

Need a referral for a great planner in your area? Email me. I happen to know some really great planners all over the world. WeddingTidbits{at}Gmail.com Another good source for good planners- ask your venue who is the planner they work with most often (again, make sure it is a planner and not just a day of coordinator!). Many venues don't list planners on the vendor lists, so you have to ask.
Photo by Julie Goodacre.

Didn't hit your minimum?

Most venues require that you spend a minimum amount of Food & beverage in order to retain your function space. What happens if you book the space thinking that for sure you're going to have 80 guests and then when all the RSVP's come back you only have 72? Hopefully you've set up your RSVP's to come back early enough that you can still decrease your guest count without a penalty (read the fine print!). So let's say your price per person is $160, and that price includes 4 passed items and a 3 course dinner. Suddenly, you have $1280 that you have to pay to the venue, no matter what. Well, rather than lose it- spend it! Add something extravagant that you only didn't order because of the additional cost. How about a sushi bar? Maybe a fresh donut station? Ooooh- a lobster tail to each plate? How about making that 3 course 4, add an intermezzo of sorbet, a champagne toast served to each guest with a strawberry, Dark and White Chocolate fountains...oh the possibilities!

The Cool Factor: Furniture

Every now and again I'll have a client who just wants to do something really cool. Something non-traditional wedding that won't interrupt the flow of her wedding, but will for sure add to the atmosphere. I always suggest good lighting 1st of course, because lighting totally transforms a room. Next though- furniture. Kick it up a notch! Especially if you have the option of having your reception in 2 different rooms; one for dinner and one for dancing. I got the new catalog from Room Service yesterday and was so excited to see all the cool new furniture they had. I especially love this round bar. How cool would it be to leave the dance floor to grab a cocktail from this bar, and then sit at this bench and watch your 80 year old Great Uncle Jack & your crazy roommate from college boogie down to a little Earth Wind & Fire?
Oh and yes- I am all about splitting the reception into dinner then dancing. Why? Because its really 2 different vibes anyway; I say take advantage of it. Dinner is for eating, toasting & talking, and beautiful romantic music. Then there's party time. Celebrate with fun music, dancing, and a party atmosphere.

The Truth about your wedding menu

The truth about your wedding menu: Nobody cares what it is as long as it's hot and tastes good.
Consider all the weddings you've been too. Is the meal what you remember most about them? Doubt it.
Think about the BEST wedding you ever attended. Was the meal what made it? Doubt it.
Chances are that the best thing about your favorite wedding was the great time or feeling you had there. It's probably the memory of a band so amazing that you were dancing for so long your feet were swollen into your shoes. Or your lack of memory due to a really great signature drink. Or maybe it was how incredibly romantic and intimate the night was. Or perhaps it was how gorgeous the ceremony & reception looked and made you feel. But like I said, chances are- it wasn’t the meal.

My point is this, don't stress about what you put on your wedding menu. It's one of the elements of planning a wedding that I have noticed clients get more stressed about, and they just don't need to. So with that said:
***Feel free to serve chicken. These days, you can get some mighty good chicken! Chefs are amazing with their accompaniments and presentations, let them kick it up a notch and get creative with it. Why chicken? It is almost always the least expensive entree on a catering menu. Those savings mean you can bump up your budget on the things that really do make a huge difference in your wedding memories (the band, the flowers, etc.).
***Have a shorter dinner. Go the 3 course route rather than the 4 course. Again, there is the cost savings. Even better though, the time savings. That 4th course could easily eat up another 30 to 40 minutes of your "party" time.
***Do go all out for dessert. It's consistently a big hit when it’s done, and because it happens later in the evening- guests do remember it.
Cool ideas: add a dessert buffet, candy bar, Venetian table, or fresh doughnut bar.

Client question of the week

Will this throw me over budget?

Nope that's not the question of the week.

Can my mother wear white to the wedding?

That's not it either.

Should I get a martini bar or a signature drink for cocktail hour?

Ce n'est pas lui.

What size shoe do you wear?

Hands down. This is the winner. And yes, this is for certain getting you on the blog. And I'm an 8 to 8 1/2, depending on the shoe.

The Wedding Budget Series, Part 1: How much does the average wedding cost?

I have tried and tried to come up with a fail safe for this question and the truth is: There's no such thing as an average cost. I can tell you where to find out the average amount spent across the USA, but in no way will that hold up when it comes to your planning. Here's why; no 2 weddings are the same. In fact, I've never had 2 that were even remotely close to each other. I've planned weddings that were hundreds of thousands of dollars and I've planned weddings that were a couple thousand, and everything in between. Let me give you an example of how 2 weddings at the same to-die-for location, with the same amount of people can be so different in cost. Let's say there are 75 guests.
Wedding A:
The bride and groom decide to have their wedding on the beach on a Sunday at 11am. That way they can enjoy the gorgeous view of the Gulf of Mexico for the entire length of the ceremony & reception. Instead of a rehearsal dinner, they invite everyone out to the beach at 7:30pm, a half hour before sunset, play their favorite beach tunes on a portable cd player, and serve ice cream bars out of a cooler as they watch the sun go down. For the reception they choose a brunch buffet, which includes Salmon, Chicken, and ziti. They decide to host a consumption bar because people don’t typically drink as much during the day. For music, they hire a really good DJ to cover the entire event, but also have a soloist for the ceremony. For décor, the bride decided to stick with all roses in just 2 colors. Since it’s a Sunday afternoon, they were able to get a good deal on photography and videography coverage. The bride and all her bridesmaids had a Pina Colada-n-Papers party and made all the save the dates, invitations, and placecards.
Wedding B:
The bride and groom decide to have their wedding on a Saturday at 6:30pm. For the rehearsal dinner, they treated all 75 guests to a sunset cruise and a clambake on a nearby island. Their ceremony is on the beach with chivari chairs covered in a sheer light flowing wrap. A beautiful sunset cocktail hour with a mojito and martini bar, cigar roller, and a sushi station. A dinner under the stars is their dream. They choose a plated 5-course surf and turf meal for their guests with a five-hour open bar and wine service during dinner. For music, they have a string quartet at the ceremony, steel pan and guitar at the cocktail hour, a 12-piece band for the reception, and a DJ for the after party. For décor, the bride brings the florist a photo of Donald Trumps wedding reception and says, “I’d like this, only in my colors”. For the wedding stationary, the bride goes to a custom stationary designer and calligrapher for the save the dates, invitations, menus, programs, and place cards.

In both cases, the couple is getting their dream wedding at their dream location. So can you see how giving an average is difficult? The cost of each of these weddings- how about I let you make your best guess? Post your estimates via the comment link and I’ll post the answer and winner tomorrow. The winner will receive the next issue of Grace Ormonde Wedding Style- since it was the winner of the last survey. This is open to everybody: brides, grooms, wedding professionals…hope to hear from lots of you!

The Wedding Budget Series

Budgets are a big subject, so I decided to make this a 6 part series. The topics I'll hit on are:
*Average costs
*Prioritizing
*Guest counts
*Being Reasonable
*The extras to budget for (cushions)
*When you need the money
Feel free to ask a question through the comment link anonamously and I'll be sure to answer as best I can.

The winner from Part 1: Lazar Soiree! Although she was the only guess, she came really close to actual costs.
Wedding A: $13,000 Wedding B: $67,500
The 3 big differences between the 2 weddings:
*Weekday wedding = lower site fees and minimum requirements
*Brunch meal = lower catering and bar fees
*Decor and music choices

Say No to the ipod Wedding

Okay, I tried to just bite my tongue and I can't anymore. I realize its all the rage as far as the wedding magazines are saying- but have you been to a wedding reception with a "virtual dj"? Let me tell you, it virtually DOESN'T WORK. Here's the problem; or shall I say the short list of problems:
1. Nobodys reading the crowd. A pro dj can tell what kinds of songs your wedding guests are in the mood for. If they all rush the floor when Prince comes on, he knows what other songs will keep them on the floor instead of rushing off. Because we all know- that is the worst thing that can happen, an empty dancefloor. Your ipod (or laptop) doesn't know that Jack Johnson would be perfect right now because all your college friends are on the dancefloor- a pro DJ would.
2. Technical difficulties Someone tripped over the cords and now there's no music. Hmmmm. Who's going to fix that? Your cousin Simon is suppsed to be in charge of the music, but he's in the bathroom, I mean at the bar, or is he eating his dinner? Where is cousin Simon? Wait, these plugs came out, what goes where? Uh-oh, nobody knows, because the guy who set it up isn't there. How about that.
3. It isn't a cost savings. That's right, you aren't going to save anything worth raving about. To rent the equipment, have it delivered, set up, and returned is going to cost almost as much as a pro dj. And honestly, it's a huge pain in the you know what. If you really want to cut costs, let's talk about cake and bar options.
4. Announcements. Well, you certainly can ask a good friend or family member to be the person responsible for making announcements, it's not that much to ask, right? Wrong. That person is on call the entire reception. Every time something needs to be announced, I (or your wedding planner) have to go tap this person on the shoulder, interrupt their conversation, and ask them to come to the microphone. It's just not nice, they are a guest, not an employee! Unless of course you aren't going to have an entrance, a 1st dance, a toast, tradtional parent dances, a cake cutting, a bouquet toss...

Look, chances are that you have been to a wedding where there was a really bad, corny, YMCA playing, is-this-guy-drunk DJ. They aren't all like this. I can't stand those DJ's any more than you can. Your wedding planner will steer you in the direction of a quality DJ. It really is safe. You can even make a list of songs you absolutely want played, what is not to be played, and what is and isn't to be said or announced.

Here's a great note I found from a recent DJ: "Are you looking for a Disc Jockey or an Entertainer?
When looking for your entertainment, an important aspect to consider is whether you're looking for a Disk Jockey or an Entertainer. The biggest difference is that a Disc Jockey offers very little or no interactive entertainment. A Disc Jockey will play music-nothing more, nothing less. In comparison, Entertainers are fun, creative, energetic and get your guests involved."

P.S. Can I tell you how addicted I am to the Jack Johnson cd I got for Christmas? LOVE it.

The Hot Trends...

This was one serious cake fight! By the time they were done, half the wedding party was covered. Just hilarious.

So as you can imagine, I get to see what so many brides are planning for their weddings. I do keep in touch with many wedding and event planners across the country so that I can keep current on what neat things are going on around the rest of the U.S. These are things you'll see in the late winter and spring weddings.


The 3-part wedding reception: 1.Cocktail Hour 2.Dinner & Dancing 3.The afterparty

Two wedding dresses: One for the ceremony & one for the reception

Coffee bars, complete with an array of flavored coffee syrups, chocolate dipped spoons, and flavored sugar cubes

Strapless dresses are still on top

A band and a DJ

Luxury or custom Linens

Big wedding cakes; The bigger, the better

Low long centerpieces on long tables

Candy buffets are still huge

The new drink- Kir Royal

Late evening ceremonies followed by cocktail and dessert receptions

Out of the ordinary rentals such as popcorn carts, photo booths, and cotton candy machines

Usually the first item on a to-do list when planning a wedding is the budget. Having a budget from the get go will enable you to put money in categories that are a priority to you, ensures that you're calling on vendors and venues that are right for your wedding (high quality, reputable, and in your budgeted price range) , and that you're going to have enough money at the end (2 weeks prior to the wedding) to pay for them all. So what's the 1st thing brides & grooms usually cut? Videography. What's my 1st response to this, "I suggest we hold off on removing that category for now". Here's why:
Out of all my weddings, the couples who do get videography, tell me it is the one thing that they are most glad they did. Why? They didn't get to see everyone "oohh and aaahh" at the 1st site of the reception. " The whole thing was a blur, it was over so quickly"
Out of all my weddings, the couples who did NOT get videography, tell me it is the one thing that they wish they did. " I wish I could have seen my nephew walk down the aisle, he was so excited" "I heard my 90 year old Aunt Dottie was dancing to Eminem, I wish I could have seen that" "I wish I could hear my best mans speech one more time"
A professional wedding video is not the same as cousin Joe's. That is unless cousin Joe has 2 cameras, a wireless lapel mcrophone, capability and 40+ hours to edit 12 hours of video down to 2, and add your favorite music, and won't mind working through your entire wedding ceremony and reception rather than enjoying it. Oh, and you'll be sure to forgive him for missing your 1st dance while he got a drink at the bar.
Tip: provide your videographer with everything they need to provide you with an awesome document of your big day BEFORE the wedding. This includes your song choices, your invitation, the wedding day timeline & floorplans, photgraphers name, and details/notes sheets.
Todays photo: This is the cover of Bonita Living. It's the annual wedding issue of a regional magazine here in SWFL. Many regional magazines and publications do wedding issues in May & June. They can be a great resource, so check your local newstands. Weddings by Socialites was featured in this issue (click to read: www.esocialites.com/Press.html )!
Todays links: www.AMCvideo.com See what wedding videography is these days. Also growing in popularity, wedding cinematography www.lifestoriesny.com